Kurt's Personal Social Network
by volcanoes
Summary: What happens when you write a fic about a Kurtofsky breakup, Blaine earning  30,000 because of hairgel, and Final Clubs at Harvard, and quotes taken from The Social Network? This does. Opening scene from The Social Network- Glee style! More info inside!


**This story is pretty AU, because first of all, Dave and Kurt are both seniors, Kurt is going to Harvard early, Kurtofsky is somehow on a date, and Blaine has $30,000 to his name. This one shot is based off of The Social Network, which I do not own by any means. Some quotes are directly from The Social Network script, therefore are not my own. I don't own The Social Network, Glee, or any of the characters mentioned!**

**Also, this is a fic that involves a Kurtofsky breakup (not much of a relationship in the first place in this story, sadly) and also involves mentions of Blaine Anderson, Final Clubs, and Harvard. Reviews are always welcomed (In fact, I'm asking you with cherries on top, review!)**

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><p>"Did you know there are more people with dozens of skills living in Japan than there are people with any kinds of skills in the United States?" Kurt said, folding his hands in front of him on the table, staring at the boy sitting in front of him.<p>

"That can't possibly be true," Dave said, scratching his arm, shifting his eyes downward.

"It is."

"Well, firstly, an awful lot of people live in Japan, but here's the thing I was wondering-"

Kurt is a seventeen year old boy; fairly tall, pale skinned, with hazel eyes, intent on discussing what he wants to. Dave is an eighteen year old boy, taller, vaguely darker than Kurt, with green eyes, clearly uncomfortable at the turn this conversation had taken. When he agreed to go on a date with Kurt, he had been expecting talk of musicals, Glee club, his friend with the large eyebrows. But the conversation took an interesting turn as soon as they got over the usual small talk that took place on dates.

Kurt had more layers to him than Dave had expected. Kurt was very interested in school and education, much more than Dave thought could possibly be normal. The conversation so far had been about the grades Kurt had gotten in the past four years, and now it had turned to university talk.

"How do you distinguish yourself from people who get into Harvard earlier than others" Kurt said, his eyes flickering towards the ceiling for a second, as if contemplating the question himself before turning to Dave.

"I didn't know people in Japan had chances of getting into Harvard early," Dave replied.

"They don't. I wasn't talking about Japan anymore, I was talking about myself," He curtly replied.

"You got into Harvard early?" Dave replied, astonished.

"Yes. I could get into a science school, but I don't take science,"

"So that basically means that you're in before anyone else is this year?"

"In Harvard, I could invent the next Facebook, or even row crew." Kurt said, now muttering to himself.

"Or you could get into a final club."

"Or I could get into a final club, yes." Kurt said, nodding.

"You know, from some men's perspectives, being a computer geek isn't that great," Dave began.

"I'm being serious," Kurt replied.

"On the other hand, I do love guys that row crew?" Dave ventured, utterly confused at how to talk to Kurt.

"I can't do that," came a terse response.

"I was just kidding."

"Yes, it means I got into Harvard before everyone else."

"Have you ever tried?" Dave began.

"I'm trying right now."

"To row crew?"

"To get into final clubs," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "Are you, like, delusional, or something?

"Maybe," Dave began, "But sometimes you say two things at once, and I'm not sure which one I'm supposed to be replying to."

"But you've seen guys who do row crew, right?"

"No."

"Well, they're usually bigger than me. They're world class athletes. And since just a second ago you said you liked guys who row crew, I assumed you'd seen one before."

"I haven't actually met one; I just like the idea of one. Like a girl likes the idea of a guy who plays cricket or something."

Kurt opened his mouth, but then paused.

"Okay."

"Should we get something to eat?" Dave asked, trying to change the conversation.

"Would you like to discuss something else?" Kurt said, a small smirk appearing on his face.

"No, but I just feel like since the conversation about Harvard began, I may have missed a birthday." Dave said, rolling his eyes. "But seriously, there are more people in Japan with talent than-"

"Harvard has a diverse range of people, but they only want certain types of people in their final clubs, especially the exclusive ones."

"Is it true that they send trucks to different parts of the area just to pick up guys and girls for parties full of booze?"

"So you can see how important it is to get in," Kurt said, smirking.

"Okay well, which one is the easiest one to get into?" Dave questioned.

"I just-," Kurt said, his eyes going wide, visibly hurt. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Uh, I was just asking."

"The point is that none of them are easy to get into. My friend Blaine made $30,000 betting on the turn of economic growth in the hair gel industry. The ability to make money doesn't mean anything to the final clubs."

"Must be nice, making $30,00 at this age."

"He likes Business."

"You said just economics."

"You can be a part of a business, or you can predict changes in one. I think the reason you asked me which one was easiest to get into was because it's the one where I'll have the most chance."

"I asked—what?"

"You asked me which one was easiest to get into because you think that's the one where I'll have the best shot." Kurt said once again.

"Wouldn't that be the one that _everyone_ would have the best shot at?"

"You didn't ask me which one was the best to get into, you asked me which one was easiest." Kurt said, drumming his fingers on the table, challenging Dave to speak.

"I was just asking to ask, Kurt. I was honestly just asking. I'm not speaking in code!" Dave said hurriedly, casting his eyes down.

"Dave," Kurt began.

"You're obsessed with Harvard and Final Clubs, Kurt. You have Finals Club OCD, and you need to get yourself checked."

"Final club. Not finals club. And there's a difference between being motivated, and being obsessed."

"Yes," Dave said, "_There is_."

"Well," Kurt said. "That was cryptic. So you do speak in code."

"I didn't mean to," Dave replied.

"I'm just saying that I need to do something substantial to get the attention of the final clubs," Kurt said.

"Why?"

"Because they're exclusive, and they lead to a better life."

"The Presidents of the United States didn't have to be in final clubs to get elected."

"Yes, most of them were, and yes, they did."

"How about you just concentrate on being the best you, you can be?" Dave said, grinning.

"Did you honestly just say that?"

Dave stared at Kurt, and then spoke again. "I was- I was kidding."

"I'm just going to be straightforward and say that you should be a little more supportive. If I get into a final club, I could take you to places you wouldn't usually be able to go."

A beat followed before Dave spoke. "You'd do that for me?"

"We're dating." Came Kurt's response.

"Okay, well I'm going to try and be straightforward with you. We're not dating."

"Is this a joke?"

"No, it's not. Sorry."

"You're breaking up with me?" Kurt asked, eyes wide.

"You're going to take me to places I can't usually go? What the fu-. What does that even mean?"

"Wait!"

"What. Does. That. Mean?" Dave replied.

"Dave, the only reason we're allowed to sit in this burger joint is because you've dated the jock whose dad owns this place!"

"The 'jock' is my friend, and he and his dad are a perfectly good class of people." Dave said. "What part of Lima are you from?" Dave sneered. "I'm going back to my dorm."

"Please, just wait. Is this real?"

"Yes."

"Then I apologize. Please sit down."

"I have to study."

"No you don't, please sit down."

"I have to study."

"Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, I mean it."

"I appreciate it, but I really have to study."

"You don't have to study."

"Why do you keep saying that?" Dave said loudly.

"Because you're going to stay in Lima!"

Dave paused. Kurt realized what he just said, and tried to cover it up.

"Do you want to maybe get some food?"

"I'm sorry you're not sufficiently pleased with my education."

"I'm sorry I don't have a row boat, so we're even."

"I think we should just be friends," Dave said.

"I don't want to be friends."

"I was trying to be polite; I have no intention of being friends with you."

"I think maybe if we just order some food-" Kurt began.

Dave tenderly placed his hand on Kurt's and looked at him lovingly. "Kurt, you're probably going to become a very important fashion designer, or whatever," he began. "And you're going to go through life thinking that guys don't like you because you're too flamboyant, or something along those lines. And I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that isn't true."

"It'll be," Dave continued, "Because you're an asshole."

And with that, Dave swiftly got up from the table and walked away slowly as Kurt watched, stunned at what had just happened.

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><p><strong>Confused? Yeah, so am I. Review anyway?<strong>


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